Google working on futuristic, net enabled glasses

Less Miguel Ferrer, more nudeyness, tweets, and kittens with lightsabers

Hey kids, wanna be just a little bit like RoboCop? Sure you do, and Google wants to make that happen. The search engine behemoth and Skynet wannabe is developing Android-powered glasses that will let you browse the net as you wear them. That’s right, news, porn, porn, and facebook all in your eye-line as you walk into traffic.

What else can these things do? Well according to the New York Times, which puts news on the interweb and on paper:

Several people who have seen the glasses, but who are not allowed to speak publicly about them, said that the location information was a major feature of the glasses. Through the built-in camera on the glasses, Google will be able to stream images to its rack computers and return augmented reality information to the person wearing them. For instance, a person looking at a landmark could see detailed historical information and comments about it left by friends. If facial recognition software becomes accurate enough, the glasses could remind a wearer of when and how he met the vaguely familiar person standing in front of him at a party. They might also be used for virtual reality games that use the real world as the playground.

The glasses are being constructed at Google’s super special secret Office X, where they ride around on Segways and make fun of everyone else who doesn’t work in a super special secret office.

So, there you have it — the future is here, and it is all about unlimited ways to access masturbatory aids.

Written by Jason Tabrys (@jtabrys)

The former editor-in-chief, Jason still reappears in the rafters of our fair site from time to time but he now spends his days leaping from one place to another, trying to put right what once went wrong. You can still find his words across the toxic constellation that is the… More »