The Scientific Method of Nerdom

Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles recently hosted a book release party for the burgeoning overlord of Nerdom, Chris Hardwick, officiated by his friend, former roommate, and Dungeon Master for all manner of gaming adventures, Wil Wheaton.

Wheaton claimed that Hardwick had managed to do in one year what he’d been trying to accomplish for the last ten. Based on reputation, I assume that what Wheaton covets is the collective nerd empire Hardwick has amassed under the umbrella corporation of “Nerdist Industries”: the Nerdist website, a growing family of podcasts, contributions to BBC, NerdMelt (a live performance theater inside of Meltdown Comics), and finally, the book, The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life). 

Basically, he’s building an army. It’s taken over the internet, television,  invaded the reality of those within the geographical confines of LA, and now, the written word. It’s a self-help player’s handbook of sorts, training those outside of “cool,” to harness their perceived societal weaknesses into world-dominating strengths.

As Hardwick read from his colorful manifesto, he stopped several times offering both denial of truth and flat out apologies to his mother, stuffed somewhere in the back of the room. Max capacity was reached early inside the designated gallery space, forcing the rest of the crowd to remain in the store for the signing scheduled post-discussion. The queued mass wove through stacks of graphic delights, past a table where a “draw your own comics” class was being filmed by IFC and around the owner’s uniformed daughter, who sat doing Girl Scout Cookie presales (it’s about the Thin Mints people, always and forever).

The reading was followed by a lively Q & A facilitated by Wheaton, which consisted primarily of the requisite anecdotes that compile 20 years of shared history. Between which however, were woven some informative elements on Nerd that I’ve broken down via scientific method in an effort to appeal to their intended demographic.

Make an Observation: Passion, not pocket protectors.

Hardwick explains, “Its not what a person likes that makes them a nerd, that’s not the essential quality. It’s how that person likes those things that makes them a nerd, it’s that level of passion.”

Ask a Question: What’s the “Next Level” for Nerdom?

Nerdists. The book explains the difference between plain nerds, and the elevated species is that the former have a desire to create brilliance instead of just consume it.

Form a Hypotheses: How Nerdists germinate, a conversation between experts.

Hardwick: “When you’re a kid and things come very easily to you. Those kids were not trained to turn inward in any way, or be self aware…. when you’re a nerdy kid and you develop this internal world — you’re forced to be creative to create this world that you want to be in. You know, I think that one of the reasons why the quote unquote typical nerd culture is more like fantasy. sci-fi–”

Wheaton: “We’re driven to those worlds in literature and role playing games and nowadays video games as an escape from our torment.”

Hardwick: “Yeah, because when we’re tormented kids we don’t have any control, so we gravitate to these things where you have to use your imagination to create this thing that you want to own and control and be a part of, ’cause reality sucks.”

Conduct an Experiment: And Nerdist Industries was born…

After years of a sullied existence hosting bad dating shows and rejecting his roots to “fit in”, Hardwick was driven to the bottle and his career sunk to depths somehow far below those of Shipmates. It was harnessing the power of nerd DIY that turned it all around, as he realized in true Tony Robbins fashion that the answer to the riddle of success lay within. “[I] can’t be a part of that thing, so I guess I’ll start my own thing, and that’s what it’s always been like for me.”

For those solo nerds, the same rules apply to dating. Wheaton informs, “There’s a person out there that loves the same things you do, and the time you spend trying to pretend that [your passion] doesn’t matter to you to be with a someone that doesn’t get you is time you are not spending finding a person who does…”

Accept Hypothesis: And the world became a better place…

Don’t try to fit in with the “others” — be yourself and happiness, riches, unlimited Apple products, an infinite amount of hit points, and, in turn, world domination can all be yours! And Samoas, you can have those too, $3.50 a box. Download the Girl Scout Cookie Finder App that some geek created to satiate these cravings year round.

And with that, I say bring on the Nerdist revolution!

Written by Angela Wagner (@angelamwagner)

Angela hesitates to call herself a writer, fearing commitment of any kind. A graduate of a respected university, she refuses to name drop until offered compensation (loan forgiveness) for doing so. She has a preternatural fear of being mauled by sharks, even while inland. She blames Spielberg. More »