GI Joe Retaliation
Release Date: June 29, 2012
Director: Jon Chu
Cast: Channing Tatum (allegedly), Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, D.J. Cotrona, and Bruce Willis
How do you forget about an awful franchise kick-starter? Kill everyone, and it looks like that’s exactly what Paramount and Hasbro did, strapping a figurative M-80 to the back of more than half the cast from the original. Hell, we don’t even know if Duke (Channing Tatum) survives, since he’s barely in the trailer.
What is in the trailer? The Rock, explosions, The Rock, the guy from Baron Munchausen, loud music, The Rock, unfortunate Bruce Willis, The Rock, and aerial sword fighting ninjas on a mountain top.
They say you can find 150 seconds from any film, even the worst one, and you’ll have a serviceable trailer. This might be the swath of land that that theory is built upon.
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Written by Jason Tabrys (@jtabrys)
The former editor-in-chief, Jason still reappears in the rafters of our fair site from time to time but he now spends his days leaping from one place to another, trying to put right what once went wrong. You can still find his words across the toxic constellation that is the… More »
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