The Rundown: Bon Jovi lives! Hobbits gather, and Ninjas with lightsabers

From time to time news items fall through the cracks. It’s up to The Rundown to pick them up, dust them off, and present them to you.

It’s never a happy thing when a TV show dies. I used to be smug about it, but in all honesty, even the most derivative, poorly-made dreck has people who work on it and people who love it.

Bored to Death was a sort of a part-time project for its 3 seasons, a mini-show with its 8-episode seasons that focused on a struggling writer who was also an amateur private eye, thanks to his love of Raymond Chandler novels. The show got plugged in the head today like a leggy snitch in an alley as dark as the moon’s undersi… sorry, the Raymond Chandler thing got me all tied up.

Anyway, Bored to Death is dead and gone, as is the penis comedy (the world needs more of those) Hung which stared Thomas Jane as a he-bitch manwhore and father of two fugly teens who tries to shtup his way back to fiscal solvency.

Here’s hoping Thomas Jane has other options and more adorable children. (Bazinga)

Jon Bon proof-of-life

Quick story: many years ago I was at a pool hall in New Jersey, playing a bit of poke the balls on green felt (I’m not avid in my love of billiards, nor familiar with the accepted vernacular; my game is Candyland) and we’re next to a woman of chunky proportions (look at my profile pic, I’m allowed) who was wearing a cut-off tee shirt that revealed her navel and the argument against cut-off tee shirts. Now, this is a classy place filled with crappy lighting, cigarette smoke, and music like Jon Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine” playing on the radio. A song that so offended our belly bearing neighbor that she took a swig of whichever cosmopolitan brown glass bottled beverage she possessed and then proclaimed, in a loud damn manner, “Fuck Bon Jovi, he ruined New Jersey!”.

Jon Bon Jovi is not dead. If you heard he was, it was just a hoax, quite possibly started by an obese cue sport enthusiast who is not bashful about either her opinions or her muffin top.

Now let’s see some Bilbo!

Don't panic

And now, Ninjas with Lightsabers in a net video that has better special effects than Terra Nova and Green Lantern.

Written by Jason Tabrys (@jtabrys)

The former editor-in-chief, Jason still reappears in the rafters of our fair site from time to time but he now spends his days leaping from one place to another, trying to put right what once went wrong. You can still find his words across the toxic constellation that is the… More »