The Rundown: Eisenberg sues, Bale bails, & “Say hello” to ‘Scarface’

From time to time news items fall through the cracks. It’s up to the Rundown to pick them up, dust them off, and present them to you. 

Jesse Eisenberg is going Winklevoss on Lionsgate and Grindstone Entertainment, producers of the low rent horror flick, Camp Hell, in which he has a small cameo role.

The complaint reads: “Eisenberg is bringing this lawsuit in order to warn his fans and the public that, contrary to the manner in which Defendants are advertising the film, Eisenberg is not the star of and does not appear in a prominent role in Camp Hell.”

According to THR, Eisenberg is suing for $3 million dollars.

Training Day word putter-downer David Ayer has signed on to jot down a script for a Scarface remake. Scarface is the popular inspiration for that poster your college boyfriend had to prove that he was a true, I believe that word in my english to street dictionary is, hustler, although possibly hustla. Either way, he down.

It was also a movie, two times even.

Ayer spoke to Deadline and not me, because I excel at sarcasm, not professionalism. Here’s what he had to say: “I sought it out; I went after it hard. I see it as the story of the American dream, with a character whose moral compass points in a different direction. That puts it right in my wheelhouse,” he continued “I studied both the original Ben Hecht-Howard Hawks movie and the De Palma-Pacino version and found some universal themes. I’m still under the hood figuring out the wiring that will translate, but … there are enough opportunities in the real world today that provide an opportunity to do this right. If it was just an attempt to remake the 1983 film, that would never work.”

Throaty Batman portrayer Christian Bale is pulling out of Darren Aronofsky’s biblical epic, Noah (of Ark fame) to make 2 Terrence Mallick movies in 2012. I presume that the Mallick movies will each be 16 hours long and separately revolve around a dandelion in a field, and a bumble bee during World War II.

So who will play the divinely inspired ship builder? According to Variety it might just be Magneto himself, Michael Fassbander who can next be seen, and I mean really seen in Shame. No word on who will play the adorable talking giraffe, or, since it’s an Aronofsky film, who will be addicted to drugs. I’m hoping it’s also the giraffe.

Random Observation

Today I saw three separate products: A T-Pain sound-alike microphone at Toys R’ Us, a logo board game where those ages 12 and up get to prove which product logo’s they most easily recognize, and a glitterfied edition of the Holy Bible that had a bedazzled crucifix on it. No word on if the inside text was sublimated with a few “OMG’s”, “LOL’s”, and “WTF’s”, aka “Why the Frankincense?”

Written by Jason Tabrys (@jtabrys)

The former editor-in-chief, Jason still reappears in the rafters of our fair site from time to time but he now spends his days leaping from one place to another, trying to put right what once went wrong. You can still find his words across the toxic constellation that is the… More »