As every one of us has probably pointed out to our mothers at some point, Star Wars and Star Trek are totally and completely different entities. One is awesome and the other is…well, it’s good, but not as awesome. Also the fans of the other one are crazy and kind of pathetic. This is usually said while wearing a costume of some kind.
But now, actor, activist, and member of Southern California Rapid Transit’s board of Directors George Takei has issued a call for peace. For, like the Old Republic, our galaxy faces a new and more ominous threat that will destroy us if we cannot lay aside our differences: Twilight.
Mr. Takei implores all his followers to stop the debate over which “Star” epic is the most epic. He warns that this new threat to the sci-fi world is severely lacking in “any sense of heroism, camaraderie or epic battles. In its place, we have vampires that sparkle, moan and go to high school…”
Better late than never, Mr. Takei. Twilight has been ruining books, movies and vampires for years now. He makes a good point when he says that there is no real point to the Twilight story, with all the issues boiling down to “Does my boyfriend like me?” With only one more Twilight movie left to be made, it seems clear that Sulu is telling all of us to set our phasers to kill, power on our badass custom lightsabers, and attack Twilight fans wherever we see them (with epically bitchy and dismissive inner monologues, not actual acts of nerd-rage-induced violence or harassment of course).
Check out the video below to see Takei’s plea and his call for Buffy and Blade to dust sparkly vamps and spay Taylor Lautner.
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Written by Myles Cockcroft (@myleswithay)
Myles Hewette Cockcroft is a writer, comedian and part-time unemployed person living in Brooklyn, New York. When not watching terrible movies on Netflix streaming, he watches TV shows from his youth over and over again, often while weeping and cursing the heavens. He co-wrote and directed the short film My… More »
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