We geeks, we nerdy few, we followers of cult films, TV, comics, games, and all the things that surround them are not the easiest people to shop for. There is, really, too much awesome out there, too many variations and extravagant bits of shiny for neophytes to navigate without incurring our adorable wrath.
And so for those who love or like us, and for those amongst us who want to bestow Festivus gifts upon ourselves, we present to you the Geek Holiday Guide, a two-part look at the season’s very best and most essential cult and geek collectibles, toys, apparel, DVD’s, Blu-Rays, comics, books, video games, and other cool stuff that you absolutely must possess.
Enjoy, shop, and be sure to pass the guide on to all those people who help feed your blissful stuff addiction.
Is a description really needed? It’s Steve Rogers’ friggin shield! Measuring in at 23.75″ in diameter, the shield is destined to be mounted on my wall. How about yours?
This one’s got the most hefty price tag of the bunch, but in the words of the great philosopher Ferris, “If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.” Made from fiberglass and sculpted from Rick Baker’s original mold, the Vader Mask is totally wearable for cosplay, board meetings, and special occasions.
Hey look, it’s that zombie from S1 of Walking Dead that totally looks like Jim Carey! The Tank mini bust is sculpted by the same effects house from the show, cast in resin, hand painted, and 6.5″ tall.
Everyone needs a lightsaber for home defense and whatnot. Crafted by FX with motion sensors and power up, power down, and other realistic sound effects, the lightsaber is 43″ long, and requires both 3 AAA batteries and a high midi-cholorian count. Batteries and Jedi DNA not included.
This one won’t be out until at least December, so I wouldn’t put it on your holiday list. Also it’s a bit pricey for a 1:18 scale by Mattel. That said, it’s the Ecto-1, so some of you are going to want to pre-order it now, Gozer knows that I’m tempted.
It’s Wonder Woman with an anime twist. A 9″ PVC statue with a display base included. The line also features a pretty bad-ass version of Raven. I’m not a big fan of PVC statues but you can’t beat the value, and let’s be honest, sometimes quantity beats quality, and with a $55 price point you may be able to get WW and Raven.
This maquette is a wee little thing at 4.5″ tall but it’s a solid value. Cartoony Firefly isn’t my personal favorite but there isn’t really a lot of “Wash” collectibles to choose from. Also, they left out the chest-spike, so thats a bonus.
Lightsabers are fun and all but they lack portability. What I need in my daily wrong-righting is a sonic screwdriver, one with lights and sounds and springy things. I’m sure that’ll be enough to frighten a Sontaran.
“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” -B.Lee
He also knew kung-fu. Buy this figure.
A 7″ plush toy with machine dual machine guns, ass-kicking boots, a majestic beard, and the ability to say ten phrases, phrases like: ”Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.” and ”Chuck Norris’ smile once brought a puppy back to life.”
Think you can do better than Greg Nicotero from The Walking Dead? Here’s your chance. The people over at ZERO put together a sort of paint by numbers action figure customization kit with interchangeable pieces and an instructional DVD. No drum of toxic waste to conveniently explain the zombie uprising, though.
Diamond Select doesn’t skimp on materials and the sculpt is by Gabriel Marquez, so you’re getting a lot for about $20. The figure is 7″ and it’s, of course, based on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein monster as portrayed by, I imagine, Boris Karloff. His name isn’t in the listing but, cmon, it doesn’t look like Robert Deniro.
These things freak me out, but if you’re a collector this set seems to be right up your in-need-of-therapy-ass. From Mezco, featuring commemorative coffins and death certificates for your dolls. Speaking of the dolls, Sadie, Sin, Posey, Eggzorcist, and Damien are included in the set and individually wrapped.
The Jesus Action Figure comes with posable arms and a wheeled base for a neato gliding effect. And for only $8.99 you too can save! I am going straight to hell.
By the way the Evolving Darwin Action Figure Playset is also available, if, ya know, JC isn’t your co-pilot.
From Messiah to Mouseiah, Funko brings us the 3.75″ vinyl Mickey Mouse figure.
I appreciate “Eye of the Beholder” but “Time Enough at Last” is my all time favorite Twilight Zone episode, so I MUST have these. The figures are from Biff Bang Pow! and are made in the retro, real cloth clothes style.
Sidebar: Sometimes I pretend that an optometrist’s office was next door to the library and Henry got a new pair of glasses with relative ease and lived happily ever after, or at least until residual radiation poisoning got him.
It’s a Teddy Bear keychain that says fuck, and shit, and asshole.
Click here for more info, but also less actual cursewords. They’re very highbrow.
You got some leather, some grey musk, a little lavender in there, everything you need to court a green chick. There is no truth to the rumor that “Red Shirt” contains actual Trekkie sweat. I would have shown you “Shirtless Kirk”, but it was sold out.
Are you bummed out when you play games on your obscenely expensive tablet PC? Screw you, but also check out the Joystick-It from Think Geek, a stick on, 2″ working joystick that attaches to your tablet.
Thank the dear and fluffy lord, 4 awesomely stylized posters of the leading ladies from Firefly and Serenity. The posters were designed by Megan Lara, each 24″ by 12″.
Perfect for a steampunk cos-play and also subtle enough to wear with your everyday wardrobe.
Yet another variant edition of the board game everyone has a copy of. What is there to say? You want to raid the community chest, buy whatever stands in for “Boardwalk” and “Park Place”, and stay out of jail. That last part shouldn’t be a problem so long as you don’t download illegal music on Napster.
These shirts are, like, you know, a total cash grab off the license of a beloved slacker epic. Buy one, have a beverage, and kick back with your special lady.
Let’s be honest, you sprayed on some “Shirtless Kirk”, she had her phasers set to stunning, and you were both blitzed on Romulan Ale. 9 months later, a lifeform is born and in need of clothing. Boom, here ya go, and also mazel tov.
Elope cares about chilly muggles (and money), which is why they’re offering this scarf and hat set. One word of advice though, make sure you pull the cap down low enough to cover your lightning bolt scar, you never know when HWSNBN is creeping.
Go to EE, buy this shirt, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
If you click on this branded snuggie I will judge you.
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Written by Jason Tabrys (@jtabrys)
The former editor-in-chief, Jason still reappears in the rafters of our fair site from time to time but he now spends his days leaping from one place to another, trying to put right what once went wrong. You can still find his words across the toxic constellation that is the… More »
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